jokes that will never be funny
jokes that will always be funny
ending long sentences with by fall out boy
Using the lyric “baby seasons change but people don’t”
Also:
And
• Finding a picture of a weird face and slowly zooming in to dramatic music.
incorrect units of measurement (i.e. I have like 40 gallons of homework)
calling easily explainable phenomena “witchcraft”
instead of bugle mcu peter parker sells his pictures to/works for buzzfeed. all his articles about spiderman are titled like ‘Insanely Cool And Relevant Spider-Man Helps Out At Local Soup Kitchen’ and ‘Awesomely Powerful And Suave Vigilante Spider-Man Just Stopped A Crime Ring From Stealing All Of Tony Stark’s Shit’ and ‘Beloved Sweetheart And Icon Spider-Man Saved An Old Lady So She Bought Him A Churro (Pics Will Make Your Heart MELT!!) and ‘Photographic Proof That Spider-Man Is A Thousand Times Cooler Than The Queens Police Department’, stuff along those lines. He also makes Which Avenger Are You quizzes, and one time he was mad at Tony so he made a poll asking if Spider-Man or Iron Man were cooler, but he rigged it so no matter what the actual voting outcome it would always say 0% voted for Iron Man.
‘Opinion: The Green Goblin Is A Loser And Spider-Man Could Easily End Him If He Wasn’t Such A Respectable And Peaceful Dude’
‘PROOF That Tony Stark Thinks Spider-Man Is The Greatest!!’ and it’s just a bunch of pictures that Peter completely staged and Tony clearly didn’t realize there was a camera on him. He’s smiling at the kid all proudly or whatever and Spider-Man is just fucking thumbs-uping into the camera lol
‘Devastatingly Smart And Funny Spider-Man Gets The Hulk To Calm Down With Only A Few Great Jokes!’
‘Um, Spider-Man Just Totally Saved The Entire City From A Genetically Modified Super Villain, And We’re Living For It.’
‘Okay- We Really Need To Start Appreciating Doctor Strange’ the picture featured in the article is Spider-Man trying to get Strange to fist bump and Strange looking annoyed
pictures of Spider-Man hanging around parades and protests and riots trying to make sure no one gets hurt
‘INCREDIBLE Spider-Man Webbed Up Falcon And The Winter Soldier Like It Was Nothing!’
‘Spider-Man Just Called Doc Ock A Little Bitch In The Middle Of A Fight, And It Was Iconic’
‘Friend To All! Spider-Man Saves An Adorable Cat From A Burning Building!’
‘Everyone’s Favorite Web-Slinger Just Gave A Lost Little Girl The COOLEST Ride Home!’
I can’t stop thinking about this lmao someone help me
The articles pick up some steam and start getting popular and he worries that people will suspect he’s Spider-Man because of how many pictures he gets and all the stuff he writes about himself
Instead, people start suspecting he’s got the worlds biggest crush on Spider-Man
Superhero Conspiracy Bloggers™ who also totally believe Peter has a crush on Spider-Man get wind that Peter is Tony’s intern.
Tony thinks this is a hilarious turn of events, and as revenge for the ‘No One Likes Iron Man’ poll, he tweets out that he’s been trying to set up Peter and Spidey for months now, but “they’re both so shy!”
The internet goes wild.
Michelle, completely aware of Peter’s identity, publishes her own article entitled: ’Spider-Man: PLEASE DATE MY BEST FRIEND’. It trends for three days and Ned has a copy of it printed out and framed.
Harry Osborn, completely unaware of the comedy in this situation, gets drunk and posts a whole angry rant on his snapchat about how Peter can do ‘SO much better’ than the vigilante wall crawler
Dog Logic 🐶 by Thomas Sanders
AUDIO:
Dog: Yes! That was fun. Do it again.
Tom: Ok, give me the toy-
Dog: NO THE TOY IS MINE THROW THE TOY
Tom: I need the toy to-
Dog: THROW THE TOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
Tom: gIVE ME THE TOYYYYYYYYYYYYY
jokes that will never be funny
jokes that will always be funny
ending long sentences with by fall out boy
Adding to that with Feat. Panic! At the disco
jokes that will never be funny
jokes that will always be funny
ending long sentences with by fall out boy
does anyone else secretly have that “i liked it before it was cool” complex but wont admit it
it’s more along the lines of “you guys were fucking making fun of me for liking this before it was cool” kinda complex
Also a “I super excitedly tried to show this to you years ago and you brushed it off and now you think you introduced it to me and that is infuriating” kinda complex
the solar system is probably most purely, simply fun exploratory experience humans will ever get to have, because there’s nobody there! there’s no colonialism and we don’t have to worry about aliens yet, so its just. fun!
we just land a robot on an empty planet and make it do wheelies and every few days we find like a cool rock and scientists yell about it on twitter
the solar system is probably most purely, simply fun exploratory experience humans will ever get to have, because there’s nobody there! there’s no colonialism and we don’t have to worry about aliens yet, so its just. fun!
we just land a robot on an empty planet and make it do wheelies and every few days we find like a cool rock and scientists yell about it on twitter
